Well That Makes Me Feel Better - 38 weeks

I could not be happier with this blog right now...I woke up this morning in a very odd mood and feeling quite down on myself.  Then I reread my blog from this stage of my pregnancy with Killian...

http://irgenssandiego.blogspot.com/2015/04/last-push.html

I am so beyond excited for the arrival of this new baby, I can't wait to find out blue or pink, name our newest addition and snuggle into bonding with baby BUT when I think of our lives now and how much fun we have with Killian it causes me a twinge of pain/guilt.  He is the coolest kid I know and we just have so freakin' much fun together.  He is everything I could have hoped for in a child and then some that it scares me to start over with this unknown.  Thank GOD I wrote the blog about how I was feeling last time and that my head is not too clouded with emotions to realize that our fun is going to grow and our new normal will just be that much better once this new baby arrives.  When I think of my own life I can't imagine my existence without my younger sister and how boring all of our family outings would have been without my sidekick and buddy along with me.  Some of my best memories include the shenanigans we got into as a team.

SO...I'm allowing myself, once again, to mourn the change in our normal, to feel sad for leaving one chapter to start another, to realize that things will be hard and challenging and probably just down right shitty at times.  And then I remind myself of all the amazing things I'm about to witness and feel and gain and fall in love with.  The tears I cry today, both outright and inward, are a mixture of bitter and sweet.  Goodbye to one era and HELLO to the next chapter.

Couple pictures to help uplift this post :-)