On top of big man turning 5, my parents are heading up in the morning to help with both boys when we are at the hospital to welcome the new babe into the family. We get to celebrate the birthday with them, they were at the hospital for Killian's actual birthday so it feels just as it should to have them here for this one. We get to celebrate Easter with them before new baby arrives too, come on good weather so we can hide eggs outside and not in the basement. Getting Ooma and Pa up here for this birth, or any, always feels like the final check box for it to be time for baby. Knowing that Killian and Lochlan (and Birdie) are in good hands takes a huge toll off my mind so I can focus on the next step and not fear the boys aren't being cared for and loved. I would be completely lost without them, so big thank you to them for taking the chance to come up during this weird parallel universe we are staying afloat in currently.
Speaking of, I just recently realized why I'm struggling so much right now during this stay at home time. I don't feel like I'm being successful in anything I am doing currently. I can't give my full attention to my job (thank goodness for an understanding boss), I can't give my full attention to the boys who aren't at school anymore and their normal has been turned upside down and I can't give my full attention to preparing for this new baby. I feel like I'm just barely staying afloat and not doing a stellar job at any of the pieces. I know this too shall pass but it is a new feeling for me to be just surviving. I don't like to feel like I'm letting anyone down or giving a half ass effort. So if you have interacted with me in the last few weeks, I'm sorry if I've been distant or distracted, I'm working through it all and will be back to the normally scheduled program soon I hope. Killian and I were just talking about all of our "normal" that we miss the other day, little things like our morning calls with Ooma on the way to school or his weekly swim lessons on Wednesday. Morning vitamins on our car ride in or the random carwash after school before heading home. My boys and I are creatures of habit and this whole situation has turned our lives upside down. We are getting through but some days it ain't pretty that's for sure.
As for this new baby we are about to meet...Kyle and I have agreed on a name, first middle and last! I can't even believe it! Seems unreal that we already have it picked out and ready to finalize once we've met new babe. Knowing the gender this time around has been such a different experience, not sure I would do it again if we were to have another (which we aren't! I'm getting a tubal while this 3rd one is being removed). But it seems that is the theme for this baby, unique and different to say the least. The position of this one inside my tummy is different than K or L so I've been feeling the movement to a whole new level this time. This one loves to randomly kick/punch shove my bladder or do flips when I'm least expecting it. I'm trying to cherish those reminders that this is the last baby I will carry but dang they hurt sometimes. My body overall is just plain tired and ready to be done with this. I sleep ok but never feel rested, my lady bits hurt nearly all the time (don't remember that with the older two) and I'm just plain ready to be able to run and play with K and L again like a normal person. Continuing with the different theme, it seems that my stay in the hospital is going to be much different than it has been before. We will be required to wear masks the entire time, I've heard the dr. and nurses will be in full PPE gear and they are ushering new mom's out of the hospital as fast as they can. As much as I appreciate the concern for my safety, I was really looking forward to that extra night stay this time around, oh well, c'est la vie. As long as babe and I are healthy that is what counts. I'm just super thankful that it seems Kyle will still be able to go and stay with me during the whole process. I am hesitantly hopeful that they will also continue to let him head home at least once a day to check in on the big boys and help keep their routine normal. I will try my best to remember to take pictures of the state of things in the hospital, if for nothing else to document the madness that is our reality right now and to share what it really feels like in the hospitals with everyone. My parents and K & L won't be able to come to the hospital to meet new baby so that is another unique experience. One of my very favorite memories of Lochlan's birth is watching Killian meet him and the instant love that he exuded to his little brother. I'll just have to wait until we come home for that moment but it definitely won't be the same.
Ok, it is late, I have another big day of work, daycare, momming and squeeze in a little self care time before the birthday/easter/baby madness begins officially. Enjoy the pictures and more to come in the very near future.
Weeks 36-39 bump pictures...I feel GIANT!!!
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| Aren't we silly?!?! |
Here is my 38 week for the other two babies as well...I seem to be right on track with the other pregnancies.
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| Killian 2015 |
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| Lochlan 2017 |
Great progress!!! Makes me feel way better about where things are :-)
My big goals right now are as follows:
5. get new car seat(s) for Lochlan pending Target trade in event
